Ale-ienation

In any other country, this would act as a deterrent

If you have ever gone to an English pub and been offered a brown, flat, and lukewarm beverage then you are familiar with the phenomenon that is ale.

To give you an idea of what ale, or ‘English beer’, tastes like imagine a pint of Fosters which has been left in the sun for a few days mixed with stout.

In the past ale referred to fermented beverages produced without hops however this distinction no longer applies. Nowadays ale is differentiated from lager due to its production process, namely the temperature and type of yeast used whilst brewing.

What this does not tell you is that ale, along with mint jelly, Christmas pudding and ‘brown sauce’, is one of the culinary delights enjoyed exclusively by Brits.

Local ale enthusiast, Andrew Snook, reacted badly to my claims that his favourite drink was nauseating. “I like ale because of the traditional method used to make it means that each type has a strong regional character,” he said.

I pointed out that whereas most lagers available at pubs lack the history, they taste much better. At this point Snook launched into a tirade about mainstream beers being full of chemicals, preservatives and brewed abroad, before adding that “any man with a real sense of taste and class would love ale.”

Most ale fans will tell you that part of the beverages’ charm is that there are many different local brews across Britain. This is true; the water used in the brewing process must have a certain pH level to counteract the acidity of the soil.

This means that traditional breweries must use water from local wells which results in a distinct flavour. The term ‘getting plastered’ comes from the plaster content found in well water.

But does any of this justify the foul taste? Londoner Avainash Smith thinks it does: “I prefer ale to mass produced beers because they lack flavour and are too fizzy, ale isn’t so cold and bubbly that you can’t taste it”. He added that ale was a much better winter drink. “Who wants to sip a freezing pint of Carling on a cold winter’s day like today – that’s got to be close to torture!”

I remain unconvinced, quantity and tradition do not mean quality and I have yet to come across ale I would willingly drink. However if you feel that lager is not tasty, too cold, lacks identity and has too many bubbles by all means order an ale and never take lager for granted again.