Happy ending, no prince: Vietnamese dinner on Kingsland

Mystery pho at a Vietnamese restaurant. Photo Credit: Joanne Wan

Warm and cheap. Two words to define a dinner at one of the several Vietnamese restaurants on Kingsland Road. Basically, they are all the same, those restaurants. And you always get there the same way.

Outside, it’s dark. You have had a long and busy day. Earlier, you visited a Damien Hirst exhibition showing six paintings of bleeding pigeons and the temperature is dropping below the zero.

You need to fill your stomach, so you step into the first Vietnamese restaurant you find on your way (of course, if you are on Kingsland Road you can only find Vietnamese restaurants).

Waiters don’t welcome you. They smile, gesture a bit, and make you sit in one of the few free black plastic post-industrial chairs.
As expected, there is a menu. The problem is that you cannot get much out of it.
Well, it is written in English (we are in London after all), but clearly you cannot spot the difference among the 173 soups offered.
Noodles? Tofu? Duck? Vegetables? Fish Thai style?
You close your eyes and either roll a dice or flip a coin (at this point the story has some variants).
The consequences are almost immediate.

A bowl with very hot and salty contents will appear on your table.
Inside is what you have ordered, even if you cannot recognize it.
Noodles? Tofu? Duck? Vegetables? Fish Thai style?

You start to eat.
After all, you have had a long day and you didn’t like the exhibition.
But you will never get to the end.
Spoon after spoon, you grasp that this might be a bit too much.
You have aimed too high and realise all you want right now is a Ben & Jerry’s Ice cream.
Too late.

You are full by now and you have to pay the bill.
Gesturing and smiling, the waiter drops on your table a small piece of paper with a number written on it.
No, it is not a dirty napkin.
It’s the bill.

Surprisingly, it is not salty at all.
For five pounds, your stomach is full and your body is ready again to face the winter.
Warm and cheap.

Next time, you can try the one on the other side of the road.
Don’t worry, the story will be the same.

Happy ending, no prince.