Dancing or grinding? A night out's dilemma. Photo Credit: mangpages

You’re at a club scanning the crowd; the music sounds great, the beat is riding through the air causing you to bounce along with it. Tonight feels like an epic night. As you look down the bar you notice a really hot girl, you catch each other’s eyes and without a moment’s hesitation you walk over. Mustering your courage with each step, you make your way through the masses. Sometimes there are times when you feel bold enough to dance with a stranger and this is one of those nights.

You nod and signal that you should dance out on the floor, she agrees and you set off, holding hands. You don’t know where things are headed but this really chill person wants to dance, so for a little while the world seems to be on your side. As you both weave through the crowd of random gyrating couples, you start to get into the groove. But to your surprise she backs into you and like some sort of robot she starts to writhe methodically. You didn’t expect it - but who are you to deny this lovely lady from giving you an awesome standing lap dance?

So letting your libido get the best of you, you go along with it. Your ‘dancing’ continues to be the same with each song with a few variations such as ‘grind in center of dance floor’, ‘grind against wall’, and your personal favorite, ‘grind against other people grinding’. It hasn’t been too bad since the music has been constant but now the beat is changing and things are starting to look a little ridiculous. People are dancing wildly and having fun, but you’re still grinding – or rather, she’s still grinding on you. What’s the matter with this picture?

People are giving you weird looks and girls who might have danced with you earlier are definitely reconsidering their opinions. You whisper in her ear to make sure she’s not deaf, “Do you like this song?” She nods and continues re-enacting her favorite strip tease on your leg. You try a new approach, take charge and change the dance style: time to whip out the “funny/cute” dance moves. This causes her to turn around and give you a confused look.  “Why are you doing it like that?” she says.  “I’m just having fun,” you reply. “Don’t you want to dance?” she says while glaring at you. “At some point, that would be nice,” you blurt. After you say that, she’s pretty much done with you, leaving you wondering: when did grinding take the place of actual dancing?

Don’t get me wrong, grinding can have its place on some dance floors, but ladies and gents, grinding should never be your default dance move. You’ve got to be willing to try other things, don’t think all people want to do it, or even see it. Personally I believe dancing is supposed to be a way for two (consenting) adults to get a sense of each other’s rhythm, test each other’s sense of humor, or just have a moment. I, for one, think that dancing should be considered social foreplay, not actual foreplay. So next time you decide to get serious (or for some people, REALLY serious) on the dance floor, please do some of us a favor, try to keep it in a shady corner? Thanks.

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• February 1, 2010 -- Dr. Strangelove: A moment’s hesitation, hours of regret
• June 23, 2010 -- Danger and glamour at the Wam Bam Club in Piccadilly Circus
• April 30, 2010 -- Vintage dancing at Mouthful O’Jam
• April 21, 2010 -- The Land of Kings: Dalston Festival