This beauty was found in a stall in Exmouth Market. Verdict: tasty but soggy towards the end. Photo credit: Kathrine Anker

At best, a burrito is the tastiest tortilla wrap crammed with the freshest and finest beef, beans and rice, accented with that zing of spicy salsa – wonderful gastronomic satisfaction. At worst, it is a galling and messy gourmet ordeal, leaving you with a bloated feeling for the remainder of the day. The First Pint went out savouring burritos at a handful of London’s Mexican eateries – and here’s our verdict:

Chipotle Mexican Grill
Chipotle on Charing Cross Road, the newly opened eatery from the popular U.S. franchise (the first of its kind to open in Europe), boasts an all-round, highly palatable steak burrito, with its fresh, assorted ingredients neatly complementing each other; the chilled and refreshing, lightly crispy romaine lettuce works well with the piquant marinated beef to create a melding of quality and distinctive flavours.

One significant drawback emerges in the course of the eating: the steak is actually more fried than chargrilled, leaving you with less of a delectable, broiled taste, and certainly more of those oily, flowing meat juices pouring all over your hands and fingers.

Burrito: ***
Service: ***
Interior / Ambience: **
OVERALL: ***
Steak burrito £6.95

Chipotle Mexican Grill
114-116 Charing Cross Road
London WC2H 0JR
Mon-Sat 11-23
Sun 11-22
tel. 0207 836 8491

Tortilla
A resoundingly disappointing culinary experience – the water-laden lettuce à la ‘Sauerkraut’ makes the wrap soggy; the risotto-esque lime-cilantro rice fills you up to excess; and, the cube-squared, chewy, fibrous steak mini-medallions are served without any hint of marinade (let alone – of ‘meat’ flavour). You can imagine this burrito feels like meat – but without the meat taste. On a brighter note, the burrito’s price is right, the cosy interior with smart wooden tables and benches inviting – and they sell Snapple, as well as a delightful condiment from stateside named Bone Suckin’ Sauce!

Burrito: **
Service: ***
Interior / Ambience: ***
OVERALL: **
Medium steak burrito £5.20
Large steak burrito £6.20

Tortilla
13 Islington High Street
London N1 9LQ
Mon-Wed 12-22
Thu-Sun 12-23
tel. 0207 833 3103

Burrito Bros.
Purists of Tex-Mex cuisine – not to mention ranch hands from the Wild West – will love the full-flavoured refried bean paste that coats the inside of your tortilla wrap. What’s more, the mildly overcooked, braised, shredded beef provides a unique meaty oomph to your usual burrito fix. But very soon, your taste buds will detect an immoderate amount of salt embedded in your steak. Salt-lovers and Tex-Mex zealots will embrace this bang-up burrito – all others should take a smidgen of culinary caution when approaching this salty, hefty beast.

Burrito: ***
Service: ****
Interior / Ambience: ***
OVERALL: ***
Steak burrito £5.50

Burrito Bros.
17 Clerkenwell Road
London EC1M 5RD
Mon-Thu 11:30-23
Fri 11:30-00:00
tel. 0207 336 0679

Chilango
Your quest for that best burrito this side of the Atlantic ought to end here – what Chilango offers is a wholesome, well-balanced burrito replete with the most succulent chargrilled meat on the market. The steak here is flawlessly marinated, with little in the way of dripping juices compelling you to reach for a new paper napkin every 5 seconds. Good to note that the spicy salsa is not too overpowering. Do be sure your burrito ‘sandwich artist’ on duty doesn’t overload with that essential dollop of sour cream – you don’t want a dairy fest in your meal.

Burrito: ****
Service: ****
Interior / Ambience: ****
OVERALL: ****
Steak burrito £5.90

Chilango
142 Fleet Street
London EC4A 2BP
Mon-Fri 11-21
tel. 0207 353 6761

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The shamrock - the quintessential symbol of Ireland. Photo credit: Zvents.com

Celebrated the world over, St. Patrick’s Day (March 17th) is an opportunity for peoples of all breeds and all creeds to revel in the great virtues of Irishness; merrymaking in music, song and banter (preferably under the influence of intoxicating beverages), an insatiable need to get into wild shenanigans, and the ability to find good humour in almost any occasion!

Here’s The First Pint’s guide to how London will celebrate this truly unique festival.

Sunday, 14th March

St Patrick’s Day Parade and Festival

Head down to central London this Sunday for the city’s official St Patrick’s Day Parade and Festival – a day packed with funfair frolics, joyful insobriety and just pure, unadulterated ‘craic’!

Parade

Start your day by finding your place on the parade route to see the colourful spectacle of marching bands from the UK and Ireland, floats, costume characters, stilt walkers and street theatre form both Ireland and the UK.

The parade starts at Piccadilly at 12 noon and moves off along Lower Regent Street, Pall Mall East, Trafalgar Square and Whitehall before dispersing on Whitehall Place.

This year the parade will feature a giant St Patrick and the Snake pageant and a stunning Emerald Queen. A new addition will be our new eco-friendly rickshaw floats – keep an eye out to see who is riding in them!

Here is the route for the parade.

Festival

Trafalgar Square will host a main performance stage showcasing the best of Irish music and dance from traditional to contemporary from 11.30am until 6pm. Featured acts include rising rock-pop sensation the Coronas, singer-songwriter Mundy (first hit the radar for soundtrack of Baz Luhrmann’s Shakespeare adaptation Romeo and Juliet), and famed Irish folk/world music group Kila. Admission is free!

Check out here who’s rocking it out and when.

St. Patrick’s Parade After-Party
Festivities will keep on going with live music from 6pm at one of London’s famous Irish pubs, the Porterhouse
Venue: The Porterhouse Covent Garden, 21-22 Maiden Lane, Covent Garden, London WC2 E7NA
tel: 0207 379 7917
Admission: Free

St Patrick’s Festival Official Aftershow Party
Head down to Camden Town after Trafalgar Square for the Festival’s Afterparty at 8 p.m., featuring live music from London-based celtic rock band The BibleCode Sundays. Booking strongly advised!
Venue: The London Irish Centre, 50-52 Camden Square, London NW1 9XB
tel: 020 7916 2222
Admission: £10
www.irishcentre.org

Lest we forget, the most important symbol of Ireland! Photo credit: Communications.kiev.ua

Wednesday, 17th March

Catholic Mass, Bacon & Cabbage Lunch + Live Music
Start your day with the full Irish St. Patrick’s Day experience (including mass!), from 11am at the London Irish Centre
Special performance from Kathy Walton’s St. Patrick’s Day Troupe @ 4.30pm
Venue: McNamara Hall, The London Irish Centre
Cost: £10 (incl. lunch & bunch of shamrock)
Tickets: www.wegottickets.com/event/72713

A Two-hour Walking Tour of Irish Camden Town
Exploring the links and places associated with the Irish in this iconic London location.
Time: 2pm
Venue: Meet in the foyer of The London Irish Centre at 1:45pm
Cost: £5
Tickets: www.wegottickets.com/event/72717

Brent St Patrick’s Day Parade
Apparently, the only Paddy’s Day parade in London actually taking place on Paddy’s Day! 4 p.m. in Willesden High Road, London NW10
followed by a concert at Willesden Library at 4.30 p.m.
www.brent.gov.uk/festivals

Bacon & Cabbage Dinner + Live Music, from 8pm
Cost: £10 (incl. dinner)
Venue: McNamara Hall, The London Irish Centre, NW1 9XB
Tickets: www.wegottickets.com/event/72714

Paddy’s Day ‘Big Shindig’ @ O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire
A night of celtic vibes, banging traditional folk rock and rhythmic tunes with the BibleCodeSundays, Honey Ryder, and Folk In Hell featuring All-Ireland flute champion Joe Moran (previously of Slainte). Also Galway man Tony Lundon of Liberty X fame will perform a DJ set.
Doors: 8 p.m.-1 a.m.
Cost: £12 and booking fee in advance or £15 on door.
Venue: O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, London W12 8TT
tel: 0844 477 2000
www.ticketweb.co.uk

Thursday, 18th March

Irish trad music session
Time: 8 p.m.
Admission: Free
Venue: Irish Cultural Centre Hammersmith, Blacks Road, Hammersmith, London W6 9DT
tel: 020 8563 8232
www.irishculturalcentre.co.uk

Damien Dempsey @ The St Patrick’s Day Hangover Show
Labelled as the ‘voice of the Northside Dubliner underclass’ and ‘the Bob Marley of Ireland’, acclaimed songwriter Damien Dempsey brings energy, intrigue and musical spirit through his powerfully infectious lyrics!
Doors:7.30 p.m.
Cost: £15
Venue: The Luminaire, 311 Kilburn High Road, London NW6 7JR
Tickets: www.wegottickets.com
www.theluminaire.co.uk

Friday, 19th March

A final night of Irish merriment @ the Vinopolis, London Bridge
End the week with another night of high-paced Celtic dancing, hearty Irish food and plenty of Guinness! The food comes as lamb stew and colcannon mash, the drink Irish whisky, beer and Guinness, and the mayhem – a traditional Irish Céilí mass dance with Irish traditional music!
Venue: Vinopolis, 1 Bank End, London, SE1 9BU.
tel: 020 7940 8322
Price: £25
Time: 6.30 p.m. – 11p.m.
Check out Vinopolis to reserve your place!

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Football chants in England are the stuff of playground banter and bravado, peppered with sounds from childhood nursery rhymes, not to mention a good dose of freestyling and impromptu wit.

Warning: Expect strong language from the start. Photo Credit: Wikipedia.org

One match at Liverpool involving a runaway cat springs to mind. In the linguistic journal Verbatim, writer and journalist Pete May described how the fans would normally chant “Attack! Attack! Attack!” at their team, but when the feline appeared they all of a sudden began to cry out “A cat! A cat! A cat!”

Using this quick-fire craft with words, chanting supporters normally do one of two things: throw verbal mud at the opposing player(s) and referee, or salute their footballing heroes with lyrical songs of praise.

With the first option, the use of rude and lewd words is preferred (listing them out now would be a book in itself). The levels of obscenity at the matches can reach such dizzying heights that a pre-match cautionary note printed on the tickets wouldn’t go astray for those new to English football.

Indeed, the games provide a good opportunity for grown men (and women) to revel in obscenity, combined with a juvenile delight in using such words in the company of several thousand other fans (no offences against the Section 5 of the Public Order Act—banning gratuitous swearing in public—need apply here, apparently).

Let’s take the example of Premier League outfit Aston Villa. Cursing their local rivals Birmingham City, Villa fans sing this number to the tune of treasured Christmas melody Winter Wonderland:

“Birmingham, are you listening
To the song, we are singing
Were walking along
Singing our song
S**tting on the city as we goooooo”

Individual players themselves receive their fair share of abuse from roaring fanatics, often when it concerns their lifestyles beyond the playing field. In 2006, Chelsea and England footballer Ashley Cole found himself at the receiving end of allegations, sourced by populist tabloid News of the World, of his involvement in a “homosexual orgy, [with] a mobile as a gay sex toy” (such allegations were later retracted). With gusto, the fans of his former club Arsenal (a London rival club of Chelsea) spared little sympathy for Cole’s predicament, as this video demonstrates.

But in most cases, the most contagious and possibly outrageous chants come in the form of praise for the sporting idols, when fans release all their guts and emotion for their brethren.

When Aston Villa’s forward John Carew scores a goal, legions of his supporters break out into “Carew, Carew, Carew is on fire” à la chorus line from Rock Master Scott’s The Roof is on Fire.

Quick-footed striker Gabriel Agbonlahor nets a second, leaving fans revelling in delight with this one which goes along the lines of the Culture Club’s hit single Karma Chameleon:

Gabby Gabby Gabby Gabby Gabby Agbonlahor,
He’s fast as f**k!
He’s fast as f******kkk!!

(A few weeks ago, this reporter had the privilege of sitting in the Villa supporters’ section for a Fulham vs. Aston Villa game, which ended 2-0 to the Villa from goals by our friend Gabby. At the end of the game, as the players left the field, the Villa fans belted out a few goes of the ‘Gabby Song’, which left the aforesaid player only to happily applaud for their unreserved love and appreciation…)

Footy songs – an enterprise in culture

Football chants are such a staple in British culture that back in 2004 the idea to have a competition to elect England’s first Chant Laureate came to the fore. Jonny Hurst, a 42-year-old solicitor from North London, pocketed £10,000 to tour Premiership stadiums across the country, penning songs for the 2004-2005 football season.

In an interview with the Guardian, former poet laureate of England Andrew Motion describes how “football chanting is a kind of animal, impulsive instinct, a natural upswelling of rhythmical thinking and feeling.”

“They can be bracingly vulgar, but they can often be very funny, and sometimes quite ingenious. They are an aspect of poetry,” Motion adds.

Enough said, we can all wax lyrical about those beautiful ballads of football lore in the comfort of our cosy armchair, but the best thing to do is to rub shoulders with those rough-hewn hardcore fans—preferably after a few bevvies, and steak and kidney pies—and have that indescribable experience of releasing raw emotion with thousands of eager fans. Go on, my son!

Have you heard any more chants not included here? Send us an e-mail or comment to let us know! Here is just a handful of chants to whet your appetite…

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Say a little prayer

Every city has what now seem to be questionable choices of place and street names.  Here in London, the abundance of weird and wonderful street names simply astounds me. There is Artichoke Place, Bleeding Heart Yard, Dog & Duck Yard, Hanging Sword Alley, Sillitoe House, Tweezer’s Alley. You can find Alphabet Square, Balaclava Road, Football Lane, Puddle Dock, Riches Street, Turnagain Lane, and Shoulder of Mutton Alley.

The explanation for these apparently outrageous name choices are generally rooted in history – that they represented some sort of function or purpose in the past, something which has not carried onto this day. These names also confirm that unabashed sense of eccentricity we all love to hate in so many of Britain’s daily habits.

In London like streets are typically named after someone famous people we may or may not remember, or a significant event or tradition we ought not to forget. One of the sweet delights now is that these names truly no longer reflect what is going on in the area. Rather than men selling chickens, if you visit Poultry St. in the City of London, you will find bankers selling derivatives.

It can be fascinating to dig deep into the history of origins into a street and its name However, toiling in the trenches of local history really can kill off the spontaneity and playfulness we can find in these streets. The best time is the first time – to savour and enjoy the immediate and spur-of-the-moment feeling when you see and chat about that ridiculously named street in, say, one of the world’s international financial and business centres. “You have to go by Cheapside to reach the high-earning banks of London…”

These oddities have even become something of a hobby for me. How? I discovered through my sauntering around the capital, it appears that each street name fits cosily into a category of its own. In the category of sport Rugby Street, Tennis Street, Badminton Road and Football Lane rank themselves side-by-side. There is a street for almost every emotion and state-of-mind that moving to London can inspire; Mean Court, Moody Street, Friendly Street, Allgood Street, Wise Road, Seething Lane and Savage Gardens. I realised there is a street name for almost every occasion – some kind of method to all the madness of those tight and meandering side-streets and alleyways of central London.

Recently a local government agency suggested that residents should vote to name their streets and parks after their “heroes” in order to increase “community cohesion and civic pride.”

Send your own pictures of memorable street names to editorial@thefirstpint.co.uk!

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