A lesson in lobotomy technique courtesy of the Secret Cinema nurses. Photo: Indu Chandrasekhar

It’s become one of London’s most infamous cinematic events – but sssh, it’s a secret.

In a city where film screenings are a dime a dozen, Secret Cinema stands out. The films they screen are indeed kept secret from the attendees, but they do much more than arrange chairs before a projector.

The First Pint had an opportunity to see it first hand in November. With the instructions to appear in our bathrobes at Ladbroke Grove station, armed with our toothbrushes and photos of loved ones, we could only expect we were in for a long-haul stay.

Greeted by stone-faced seventies-era nurses and doctors, we were led to an abandoned NHS hospital, where a certain Jack Nicholson film was brought to life in excruciating detail. What followed was a three-hour experience of the film, inviting us to participate in finger painting, psychological consultations and the taking of ‘medication’ (which tasted oddly of red wine). Finally, we watched the film itself – and saw just how similar our interaction with the world of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest was indeed. But don’t take our word for it – such things are best experienced yourself…

Secret Cinema also hosts Future Shorts – film screenings without the mystery. Their latest cinematic adventure begins this Friday, 11 February, and lasts till the 27th. The film in question is, of course, a secret, but they’ve offered plenty of clues to get your mind whirring…

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Flat hunting can be a nightmare, but some good sense and some even better advice may help preserve the last of your sanity. Photo Credit: Shane Gorski/Flickr

It’s that time of year again for the flat hunting feeding frenzy. September and October are prime time for flat hunting and even the most experienced Londoners boast war wounds. But if this article were a repository of flat hunting horror stories, it would never end. Instead, we aim to offer advice: How best to find your flat and keep your limbs — and (most of) your temper — intact.

Search Criteria: Where do I start?

One bedroom? Two bedroom? Flatshare? Central London? North of the river? South? Near a park? Near a tube station? Near the moon?

If you are new to the city, the best thing you can do is bend your ear and follow your instincts — listen to your friends’ advice on good neighbourhoods, look for a flat close to your office or university, gravitate toward the city’s larger parks (Hampstead Heath covers a large swathe of North London and is unbeatably beautiful), or troll the trendier areas, like Shoreditch, Hackney or the West End, for a place to crash post-party. The Office for National Statistics has a site that lets you find out about any neighbourhood. There’s also the more gruesome approach of London’s Murder Map — or better still, The Guardian’s interactive UK crime map tool. The latter lets you compare the crime rate, according to type, in different parts of London. Some rough data analysis reveals that the southeast, around Dulwich and Forest Hill, is the safest part of the city.

But don’t let these sites scare you — use them to get educated. As they say, in London it’s the street, not the neighbourhood, that matters.

If you’re studying, fidgety parents find that student accommodation is a very safe option — but it is highly expensive, and most private student housing requires applications months in advance. One of the newest blocks of trendy student flats towers over Spitalfields Market, and offers box rooms for up to £300 a week. This is obscene by all measure, so we’ll move on to more sensible options.

In general, there are a few price points to follow. £100 to £150 per week in central London is generally a steal — but you should make sure you get perks with it, like a living room (it is all too common for landlords to convert communal space into an extra bedroom), a working kitchen (preferably with an oven and a washing machine) and a pleasant neighbourhood. London Rents displays the average rent in London by postcode.

Flat listing websites (see Finding a Flat) allow you to search by location, price and furnishing (furnished or unfurnished), all of which will quickly give you a sense of an area’s affordability.

You can also approach the flat hunt at a different angle. Some areas, such as St John’s Wood, have high rent but low council tax. If you are not a student, you will have to pay council tax. You can check the rates of council tax, by area, on the City of London Council Tax site or Up My Street, an independent reviewer.

Finding a Flat

This process begins with the ultimate conundrum: to use an estate agent or not to use an estate agent?

Estate agents reside in the the slimy underbelly of the housing community. But they are also a guarantee against the fraud and scams that overrun sites like Gumtree.

Sites such as PrimeLocation, Find a Property and RightMove search estate agent listings (usually the same ones) and offer lots of pictures. However, the agents themselves might not respond quickly to e-mail requests — so it’s best to phone up and make viewing appointments immediately.

Interim Options

Alas, timing is not always perfect and you might find you have to move out of your current flat before you’ve found the next place. Take heart; you have options. Store your stuff at a friend’s place if it’s for the short-term, or put your belongings in storage for the longer haul. If you’re on the penny-pinch, you can always try Couchsurfing. Decent-priced short-term accommodation can also be found at Crashpadder — as expected, the cheaper options tend to be farther out of town. You can also ask your landlord to extend your lease — if it’s a matter of a few days, they might be flexible. In any case, you will eventually find a flat, so on to more pressing concerns:

Flatshares: Finding a Flatmate

If you find yourself unable to face the task of finding a flat by yourself, or find yourself with an empty room in your place, I (and several friends) recommend Spare Room or Move Flat. Spare Room works on the basis of profiles, and those with more detailed profiles tend to be considered first as potential housemates. Friends have called Move Flat a ‘better version of Gumtree’, which also hosts flatshare listings. But again, I’d recommend Gumtree as a more than last resort, and here’s why:

Avoiding Housing Scams

Gumtree is repository number 1 for fraudulent postings. If flat listings seem just too good to be true, chances are the flat is already occupied, doesn’t exist or is really a hotel room. You can even try it out yourself: request information on 15 to 20 similar flats. Chances are, you will receive at least five e-mails written in identically broken, unintelligible English.

If you do find something that seems trustworthy through Gumtree (or any establishment), remember to keep your wits about you. Don’t ever agree to wire money without seeing the flat, meeting the landlord and signing the contract. Be wary of people requesting transfers via Western Union — these are easy to fake and difficult to trace. And check your facts by making sure the flat in question actually exists; a simple Google Maps search should do the trick.

Before Moving In

Get the inside scoop

If you can, get in touch with the current tenants of the flat. Ask them about any problems they’ve faced, whether it be with the landlord or the flat itself. Try to talk to as many tenants as you can — you’ll find that some are more keen on ‘selling’ you the place than others. You will definitely need to be in contact with these people once they move out as well, if only to sort out the post, so be sure to maintain friendly terms.

One-Up the Agency

Estate agents can be particularly thorny, especially when it comes to the housing deposit. They are not afraid to bully and intimidate you. Your best bet is to keep your temper and get their individual mobile numbers so you can contact them personally when things go wrong — and remind them who you are, at all times of day, once the paperwork has all gone through.

Check the Gas, Electricity and Plumbing

Make sure the plumbing is updated and examine every ceiling and floor for leaks and holes. Check that the utilities all function normally. If the flat has different suppliers for electricity and gas, get that changed upon moving in — you get a discount if your electricity and gas are supplied by the same company. And if you are on pay-as-you-go systems for either utility, get that switched to a monthly or quarterly plan as quickly as possible; the rates for pay-as-you-go are at least twice the metered price. Be persistent on this; your utility company will try to flummox you at every turn.

After Moving In

Keep Records

You should also take a detailed, photographic inventory of the flat once you move in, and submit this inventory to the agency or landlord as soon as possible — this will serve as incontrovertible proof when they decide you need to pay to repair that hole in the ceiling left by the previous tenant. This includes furniture left in the flat; be sure to lift up the mattresses and check the bed frames. You never know what problems could be lurking just out of sight.

Know Your Rights

If something goes wrong with the flat and you didn’t cause it, it is your landlord’s responsibility to take care of the problem as soon as possible.

Your contract stipulates exactly what your landlord is liable to fix. It also states when he or she can enter the flat — the general rule is that they need your permission to come in, and you should enforce that. No landlord should feel free to waltz into your flat unannounced (unless it’s an emergency).

If your landlord or agency doesn’t respond or refuses to take care of the damage, it is well within your rights to report them to Health and Safety — this is done through your council (Camden, Islington, Hackney, Westminster, Southwark, and so on).

Hold up your end of the bargain

No rental situation is perfect, and it never will be. However, you can make things infinitely easier on yourself (and give yourself some much-valued leverage) by being a good tenant. Pay your rent on time. If you have loud parties, notify the neighbours beforehand. Take care of the flat and don’t let problems lie untreated — this will make things much harder to fix, and you could be dragged into paying. This does not mean you should be complacent — but it takes two to tango.

And finally, a message for those still desperately seeking flats: Estate agents and prospective landlords will try to fool you, bully you and intimidate you into thinking that the hell-hole you just saw is the find of your life. Do not let yourself get pressured into signing anything, even if you are desperate. There are always better places, and there are always interim options while you look for that place!

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Is the Tate Modern's soul for sale? Photo Credit: Indu Chandrasekhar

Last month, the Tate Modern kicked off its 10th anniversary celebrations with No Soul for Sale: A Festival of Independents, a three-day exhibition featuring the work of independent artists from around the world. The aim of the show was to do break down the idea that great museums can only display ‘The Greats’.

The museum gave out parcels of space in Turbine Hall, and from there the participants had complete artistic freedom. The result: “A a pop-up village of global art for visitors to explore,” according to the organisers. Some built interactive structures, some put their work on display, and some used themselves as part of the art, all as an expression of their independence from the regimented world of public art. Below, Aoife Yourell and Indu Chandrasekhar combined audio and photos to give a sense of this unique exhibition.

But an exposé released yesterday puts into question the independence of the very museum that hosted this exhibition. National media, protesters and bloggers have reported that the Tate Britain, the Tate Modern’s sister museum, is holding a gala next week in honour of their 20-year sponsors: British Petroleum (BP), the company responsible for the catastrophic oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

The Tate Galleries are not the only bastions of art benefiting from BP’s funds. The National Gallery, The British Museum and the Royal Opera House all have their coffers partially filled by BP.

A joint statement from the aforementioned organisations described their gratitude to BP for its sponsorship. “We are grateful to BP for their long-term commitment, sharing the vision that our artistic programmes should be made available to the widest possible audience.”

While the oil company’s sponsorship is certainly valuable for institutions that rely on public funding, funding that is getting slashed under Britain’s new austerity measures, it seems there is no good way to be associated with BP.

The group “Good Crude Britannia” plans to protest outside the Tate Britain on 28 June.

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River Sounding at Somerset House. Photo Credit: Indu Chandrasekhar

For the past few weeks, Somerset House has played host to a curious experience: the River Thames. Passageways around the courtyard and under the building are currently home to River Sounding, an art installation by Bill Fontana. The exhibition tells the audiovisual story of the river, combining projected images and sounds of the water and its engine-powered inhabitants to create a unique, haunting experience.

The exhibition continues until 31 May and is free of charge. Somerset House is located on the Strand.

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There’s Night at the Museum, and then there’s Night at the V&A. The Victoria and Albert Museum is known for its spectacular mish-mash of collections, and at night it’s no different. Each month the museum throws a themed Friday night party, full of music, wacky activities and drinks, and this time it was all about quilts.

Grand beginnings for a gigantic patchwork piece of art. Photo Credit: Quentin Leboucher

Not the most thrilling theme, you might think. But the creative team of Tea and Make managed to make the event, appropriately titled Stitched Up, a colourful success.

Set to a soundtrack of ’40s jazz standards and folk music from Finders Keepers Records, the evening’s war-era ‘stitch surgery’ featured activities for all kinds. Dreamers could write down their wishes and send them off in tiny paper boats; those unafraid of needles could make patchwork pieces, brooches and pincushions; the competitive types could race one another on sewing machines; the eccentric could create paper monsters to defend the city of London; and the hungry could devour all the cake. And everyone, old and young alike, could swing to likes of Frank Sinatra and Henry Mancini in the grand foyer. The museum was packed till closing time, at which point the night’s amateur seamstresses pocketed their creations and saved some fabric scraps for later, leaving the V&A to become a normal museum again—until next time.

Stitched Up: Late Night at the V&A was on 30 April. The next late night event, Dress Sense, will be on 28 May from 6:30 to 10 pm.

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Elena Pavli in Air Heart, a play about two friends whose conversation about Amelia Earhart helps communicate the things they can't say. Photo Credit: Indu Chandrasekhar

Such is the business of The Factory, a London theatre group and tour de force. They specialise in unrepeatable performances—shows that, because of their improvised, on-the-spot nature, you’ll never get the same thing twice.

Their repertoire includes the likes of Hamlet and Chekhov’s The Seagull. Sounds traditional enough, until you consider that in The Factory’s version of Hamlet, the actors use audience-submitted props and occasionally perform scenes in trees or on each other’s backs. Their version of Chekhov’s Seagull is inspired by, rather than an exact performance of, the play.

The company’s latest theatrical venture, Round 2, has the actors pushing the boundaries even farther. Debuting in early March, Round 2 features a rotating set of short plays, none longer than 10 minutes, with eight to 10 performed each week. The show takes place every Tuesday in the basement of Hoxton Square’s Electricity Showrooms, atop a light-up dance floor. There are no props or costumes. There is no blocking. Even the casting thumbs its nose at the establishment, with actors playing roles regardless of the authors’ intended gender, weight, height and age—the usual reasons great actors get denied great roles. For plays featuring more than one character, an audience member decides which actor speaks first; the performers, therefore, must be able to play every part. Amid this level of flux, the success of a play relies entirely upon the strength of the script and of the actors interpreting it.

For many of the evening’s plays, the equation worked, but required some healthy stretching of the mind. Scripts that depended on an actor’s gender or age to tell part of the story could came off as opaque, as in the case of Peter Rumney’s Tomatoes, the story of a husband leaving his wife for war. It was played by two men. The gender-bender worked well, however, in Nick Harrop’s Monsters, a story of a boyfriend and girlfriend, acted by a man and a woman. In an encore performance, the actors switched roles, utterly transforming the play.

The more successful pieces focused on personality rather than events. Sibley Falls’ Goose at Chaos told the story of a young transgender man, played with hilarity and poignancy by Factory newcomer Alan Morrissey. Elena Pavli performed in two plays, mastering unusual roles in both. Nonetheless, Robyn Kerr was the real star of the evening, playing the unlikely role of a 12-year-old boy on the eve of his birthday in Twelve, a monologue by Evan Placey. Kerr played the part superbly, exuding both the toughness and vulnerability of a hormonal almost-teenager, all the while spitting out a stream of juvenile and amusing phallic humour.

The Factory makes no qualms about their performances being experiments. Each week features unique shows; sometimes they are too dense, and sometimes things just don’t work. Audiences who prefer to have things spelled out for them should look elsewhere for entertainment. But for those willing to take a leap of imagination, the results will be perplexingly satisfying. With tickets for just £10, going more than once is easy—and recommended.

Every Tuesday at The Electricity Showrooms in 39 Hoxton Square, London N1 6NN; tickets are £10. Click here to book.

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The customary Tube behaviour. Photo Credit: Morade Azzouz

with Morade Azzouz and Indu Chandrasekhar

We’ve all used London transport enough times to know there’s an unspoken etiquette—and it’s not exactly the nicest. People keep to themselves, wearing their earphones and reading their newspapers. Eye contact is rare. Take the tube too long and you start to wonder if people ever smile at each other at all.

But every once in a while, something bizarre happens, and whether they mean to or not, people react. If you can still sit quietly with your eyes glued to the newspaper page, hopefully you at least smiled to yourself.

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Photo Credit: Unite Against Racism

with Jaime Concha, Kathrine Anker and Indu Chandrasekhar

The First Pint travelled to central London on February 13 to cover the Unite Against Facism conference as part of our Last call on racism campaign. In the midst of speeches about how to fight the British National Party (BNP), we uncovered what was being done by the leaders of influential student bodies to curb the worrying trend of intolerance to internationals.

Fighting fascism is not only about race or minority groups. Daf Adley, Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transsexual (LGBT) officer for the National Union of Students (NUS), revealed that misconceptions between minorities can be just as damaging as extreme-right views.

“There is this common misconception that Islam and Homophobia are intertwined. This is something we need to challenge every step of the way.”

“It is important that our LGBT societies in universities start working with the Muslim communities by dispelling these myths and working together in fighting racism, Islamophobia and homophobia,” he said.”Not all Muslims are homophobic and not all gay people are Islamophobic.”

Adley added: “When we start buying into that rhetoric, we actually buy into the rhetoric of the fascist BP and the people who tell us that Muslims should be scapegoats for the wrong things in our society.”

Currently, the NUS LGBT society is on the forefront of raising awareness against homo-, bi- and transphobia. It also works on the plight of international students living in the UK who are discriminated against for their sexuality. Adley mentioned the case of an Algerian gay student from the Open University who was under threat of deportation, where the LGBT society intervened by lobbying with MPs and immigration authorities.

Bellavia Ribeiro-Addy, the Black Student’s Officer for the NUS, reminded the audience of the 1999 nail bombings by an ex-BNP member who targeted London’s African, Caribbean, Asian and LGBT communities. She said: “This is the reality of the BNP’s hate speech.”

Riberio-Addy mentioned that the best way for young students to get involved in the fight against fascism is by registering to vote or campaigning against the BNP. “By becoming a part of the anti-fascist movement, [by] turning out and voting in the elections we’re showing that whatever grades we get, we want a future that is fascist free. No debate.”

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They're out to get you. Photo Credit: Maja Kucova

I do not like squirrels. It’s been over a year since a squirrel broke into my apartment and wreaked squirrel havoc on my belongings. Specifically, it streaked dirt all over my kitchen floor, peed in my flatmate’s oatmeal, and chewed on several cardboard boxes.

It also took a fancy to animal crackers. I found the bag slashed open and nearly empty. And I found the crackers…everywhere. Under the cushions. Under the rug. Under the couch slipcover. Under the tablecloth. UNDER MY DUVET.

The squirrel attack happened while my flatmate and I were away for our winter holidays. When I returned, strangely enough, the first thing I discovered was the crackers. They were placed so bizarrely around the apartment that I wondered, for more than a second, if a ghost had paid us a visit. Then I noticed the kitchen. It wasn’t until days later that we deduced it was a squirrel that broke into our place and, dare I say, squirreled away the crackers. By that time we had cleaned everything, but the thought of a squirrel squirming around under my sheets had me sleeping very uncomfortably for a bit.

Because let’s face it—people think squirrels are cute and cuddly and rabies-free. But in truth they are vile, detestable creatures that play in trash cans and snack on refuse (they really are immune to rabies, though).

It’s for this and many other reasons that Dug the dog is our favorite character in Pixar’s “Up.” Dug says, “Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, ‘I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead.’ Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.” And my flatmate and I laugh. Oh so cruelly.

Our squirrel saga finally came to an end with the help of a “live trap,” lent to us by our maintenance man. He lived out in the countryside, and his grandchildren enjoyed shooting squirrels with their BB guns, so he wanted us to catch the squirrel but let him take it home alive. So we did. What lured the squirrel into the trap, you might ask (aside from us placing it right at the cheeky bugger’s entrance into our flat)? Peanut butter.

Cardboard, animal crackers, and peanut butter? I guess squirrels don’t bother with acorns anymore. Too bad for Dug.

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The Nave: the perfect temporary hideaway for a temporary play. Photo Credit: Indu Chandrasekhar

The play started not with the dramatic sweep of a curtain, but with the director calling out to scoot some chairs aside and see if anyone could climb up to the balcony. These last-minute stage directions were for both actors and audience, who before the show began were indistinguishable. Then a door slammed and several men and women sprang from their seats, loudly picking up mid-conversation and winding through the audience as if they weren’t even there.

And so began “The Seagull.” The story, by Anton Chekhov, is a tangle of unrequited love, ego, jealousy, and all those other tantalisingly nasty human emotions. A basic enough premise, really—so basic that The Factory, a brazen and brilliant theatre company based in London, decided to perform the play using the personalities and interactions of the characters and improvising the rest. To perform this unique piece this past Sunday—and it really is unique, because each week brings an entirely new, improvised version of the play—The Factory set up shop in a boarded-up church on St. Paul’s Road called the Nave. The heating had long been turned off and the actual nave of the church stood in utter decay, the upper level stripped down to the vaulting and strongly resembling the attic of a haunted house. The church’s temporary, furtive opening seemed quite fitting for a play that, performed in this way, is unrepeatable.

Once “The Seagull” took off, there was no stopping. Armed with their characters’ basic outlines and nothing else, the actors brought the story to life, going by their own names and playing their parts as if slipping into a second skin. Life imitating art. To describe acting in this way seems perfectly normal, but it’s all the more stupefying when you consider that the entire play, which flowed so seamlessly, was improvised.

Watching “The Seagull” is, to put it frankly, watching the full creation of great art. The play is performed by people with such a fine sense of what makes a line, a character, and a scene perfectly fit the intended emotion, and the players read one another so well that an outsider can’t imagine they’re watching an unrehearsed performance. Picture, for example, a scene where the play’s mother and son get into an argument of epic proportions. In the middle of conveying anger, frustration, anxiety, disappointment, you name it, one of the actors called the other, on the spot, an “adolescent emotional pygmy.” How did she come up with that?

The Nave. Arguably far more eerie from the outside.

Perhaps it’s years of winning arguments with zingers like that one, perhaps it’s just from improvising the same basic story week after week. Whatever it might be, there’s no denying that this talented company is doing something truly groundbreaking—combining the processes of creating a story, scenes, and dialogue with the usually separate process of learning to act the story, scenes, and dialogue. In “The Seagull,” all of the above happen simultaneously, in an instant, and it’s all the more brilliant for it.

The next performance of “The Seagull” is at 5 pm on Sunday, 31 January at the Tabernacle, located 34-35 Powis Square, W11 2AY. Tickets are £10.

The Factory also regularly perform Shakespeare’s “Hamlet,” also improvised (to a degree)—they follow the original script, but improvise stage directions and use objects brought by the audience during the play. The audience also gets to decide (via rock-paper-scissors) which actor plays which character. Needless to say, the performances are, like “The Seagull,” brilliant and unrepeatable. For more, see the account I wrote two years ago when I saw The Factory’s “Hamlet” for the first time (I have since seen it twice more).

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